The Heart that Hurts
by nsane1
Summary: The heart that hurts is a heart that beats, but what if you have two? 9Roseish
1. Part One

**_The Heart that Hurts_**

Rating: K+  
Summary: The heart that hurts is a heart that beats, but what if you have two? 9Rose-ish  
Spoilers: Everything up to and including _The Doctor Dances_  
Author's Note: The BBC owns Doctor Who, I own the story, and U2 owns the song the line "the heart that hurts is a heart that beats" comes from (One Step Closer, if you want to know. And even if you didn't…now you do. Apologies.) This has also probably been done before, but I'm an American and just saw it, so…humor me?

* * *

They'd danced for a long time to songs the TARDIS randomly selected. When one of them hadn't known the dance that belonged to the song, they either tried to teach each other or let Jack have a turn if he knew it. Finally, Rose had to plead exhaustion despite the feeling that this was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, but it was around five in the morning and she'd spent most of the night running and dancing. Jack claimed he was tired as well, with a grin that at least looked a little tired. Perhaps he was hoping for an invitation from one of them, but Rose was too tired for flirting, much less anything else, and the Doctor wouldn't sleep for awhile yet. So she'd simply led Jack to a room—she'd been tempted to give him the room Adam had slept in, but resisted with a supreme act of willpower—and went to her own. She didn't even change into her pajamas before collapsing, although her last conscious act was to pull off her Union Jack shirt. 

She hadn't slept for very long, maybe an hour, when she heard something shatter in the control room and she ran, terrified that something had gotten in and was hurting the Doctor in some way. She forgot nothing could get into the TARDIS when it was locked and she also forgot she wasn't wearing a shirt, which Jack kindly pointed out to her when he ran into her in the corridor. Even he was wearing a shirt, which she made him lend her before she sent him back to his room. She didn't want to have to deal with Jack and the Doctor at the same time.

She'd left the Doctor grinning and still dancing around by himself; she came back to him sitting on the console chair with a dark, brooding look on his face. He tried to cover it up as soon as he noticed her arrival with a grin, but it wasn't anywhere close to reaching his eyes.

"Thought you were going to your own room. Alone."

"I did. I…needed a different shirt. Decided the Union Jack wasn't so great after all."

He nodded, with what might've been with relief briefly crossing the emptiness in his eyes, and then the empty darkness was back and he was staring at the ground. "You should go back to bed, Rose. Mind the mug pieces on your way out."

She stepped closer to him and slipped her arm through his and rested her head against his shoulder. "Everybody lived," she reminded him softly.

He moved slightly so she could half-sit next to him, and she leaned more of her body against him. "This time, Rose. This time."


	2. Part Two

Author's note: Here's the second (and last) part of the fic...I didn't post it originally, since I wasn't sure if I liked it and neither was my beta, but I figured I can't make it any worse. Enjoy! (or not)

* * *

_He moved slightly so she could half-sit next to him, and she leaned more of her body against him. "This time, Rose. This time."_

"Isn't that enough?"

He shook his head. "It should be, shouldn't it? I shouldn't be so greedy, shouldn't hope that the universe would give me more than that."

"But you deserve it," she said, a little confused about why he thought he shouldn't want everyone to live more often. "I mean, you've lost so much…shouldn't you get some back every once in awhile?"

"The universe doesn't balance like that, Rose," he said, sounding almost angry, but he didn't push her away. "No matter how many people I save, I can't make up for what I did, and even today, it wasn't all me. It was Nancy, it was Jack, it was you."

"You did most of it. Doctor, you can't keep beating yourself up like this."

"Can't I? Don't I deserve it? No matter how many people I save, even if it's an entire world, it doesn't change the fact that I destroyed one. Destroyed my people."

She moved her arm from in his arm to around his waist, and placed her other hand on his cheek so he'd look at her. "Is that why you try and save everyone? To make up for what you did? Because if that's all it is, if that's all there is to you, if guilt is the only reason you do anything, you can take me home."

"No—Rose, that isn't it," he said, and the emptiness in his eyes was replaced by desperation. "Please."

"I know," she said gently, and kissed his cheek. "Come have a cup of tea, since you ruined your first one."

"Tea doesn't fix everything."

"Having tea with me makes you stop your completely unnecessary and ridiculous moping about, given that everybody lived and we should still be celebrating."

"I'm not being ridiculous!" he protested, getting up. "It was productive!"

"Oh? And how's that?" she asked, taking his hand and pulling him to the kitchen.

He's suddenly serious, dangerously so. "It brought you. I might save worlds, but I can't save me, as you pointed out. A stupid ape, knowing more than me. Saving me! Now if that's not ridiculous, I don't know what is."

"Just for that, you can make the tea," she said, and he squeezes her hand. He's not all better, but everybody lived, and that's enough for now.


End file.
